So traveling around as much as we do and moving as often as we do our family has become unofficial "experts" on churches and how they come across to visitors.
Before I get started let me first say this. I fully understand that there are many needs in churches. Not everyone is going to like a "mega church" and not everyone is going to like a church with 50 members. However, both locations are necessary as they feed the people who do desire those environments. I'm also aware that some church attenders are not thrilled with singing and some love it. Some people like to raise their hands, some do not. I'm a big believer that if you do not like the church don't complain about it, just go find one you feel comfortable in. Complaining about the church to someone who likes it may hinder their ability to worship. Don't be that stumbling block for someone else.
OK, now here are some observations that our family has that could really effect ALL churches no matter the denomination or belief system.
1. Instruct all volunteers at the welcome centers to TALK TO THE PERSON ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTER. Don't take your "work time" as a chance to catch up with your best friend about soccer from the past week. Today I stood at the children's welcome center for a good 2 min listening to the woman talk about how she didn't like the coach and how she was going to put her daughter on another team next season. I totally get that she is a volunteer but if she wants to talk to friends she needs to not volunteer! Very unwelcoming.
2. WELCOME visitors. When asked if we had been to this church before I answered, "no". The woman looked at me blankly and said, "OH". There was no "Welcome, we are glad you are here!" NOTHING! It was as if we are a chore for her because now there was paperwork on the kids that had to be done.
3. If your layout is not clearly marked, have people available to lead visitors to where they need to go. This is even a great idea if it is clearly marked. It welcomes them and gives them a POC (point of contact). Make sure this person has a good personality and is friendly. Defeats the purpose if they are rude or don't talk. If you don't have enough volunteers to guide the visitors around, offer maps at the same place where you sign the kids in and make sure you mark each location for each child and then the worship center. (BTW, it is totally ok to use middle and high school students as the guides before their classes start. If you are running low on volunteers these guys make great fill ins for jobs like this)
4. Once the children are checked in, clearly mark the route to the worship center. Dropping the kids off is important but we are actually there for the worship. If we can't find the location, it defeats the purpose. Again, this is a great thing to have your guide do. After the kids are checked in, have your visitor guide lead the adults in the right direction for worship.
5. If you are a worship leader and the only voices you hear are yours and your choir, YOU HAVE NOT ENGAGED YOUR AUDIENCE. Now, if you are in the market to put on a concert and don't want your audience to participate then this is ok, HOWEVER, I was under the impression that praise and worship was for everyone to participate in. Looking around that room I was shocked to see half the people sitting, half standing and NOBODY singing. The worship leader was having a blast but even the choir members looked like they were in pain!
6. The previous note leads me to this next one. WORSHIP LEADERS, this is for you. TRAIN YOUR CHOIR TO SING WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE THEY ARE PASSING A KIDNEY STONE. If you are making your entire face squint the whole song I promise it is distracting during the praise and worship time.
7. I LOVE involving youth in the production aspect of the service. I love that churches are noticing talents of younger people and helping them grow their gifts. HOWEVER, allowing a child run the main camera that feeds to the screens during service is not a great idea if the kid doesn't know how to focus, stay on Que, maintain the subject in screen. I don't like watching the bottom half of the preacher during his sermon.
8. When I go pick my kids up, PLEASE don't send them home with candy, balloons or anything that is going to make them hyper, cause a fight in the car or be uneven. We went to a church one time and one kid got a balloon and the other did not. This resulted in me going to Winn Dixie to buy a balloon for the other kid. They didn't have anything similar and ended up having to buy 2 balloons so they were the same and popping the one from the church. Such a mess and tons of tears.
9. Frequently remind your church that the parking lot is a visitor's first glance into the church. Being flicked the bird in the parking lot by some woman parking to run into the building will NOT make a good impression. I PROMISE, we will not walk into that building. You can have the best sermon in the world but if I get flicked off in the parking lot, I'm not giving you a chance.
Now these are just a few of our issues with a lot of the churches we have visited. Trust me, I have an entire list of things that have really annoyed me but this blog isn't long enough for that.:-)
Here is a list of things that churches have done right::-) Always good to recognize the positive as well.
1. Send home a little thank you card with the kids to say they were glad we visited, phone number of the children's minister for questions, and a little coupon for a free Bible if the child doesn't have access to one at home. AWESOME! It was a very simple card but made my kids feel so important. Plus, this gave me all the contact info I needed if I wanted to continue exploring this church
2. Linking up with the local Chick fil a on their kid's nights and extending an invitation to meet up at the restaurant on that night and sit with them in their section to get to know us better. AWESOME! Not only have you provided a mutual location, you are offering an opportunity for me to talk to you face to face while my kids are involved in the restaurant kid's night.
3. I love dropping my kids off in a room that has friendly faces. When we walk in that room I don't want to feel like we are imposing. I want to be welcomed and I want to walk out knowing my kids are already engaged. I love rooms that have coloring sheets set up on the tables, a toy area and plenty of smiles.
4. It is amazing how snack time is a key for us. It is one of the most talked about parts of the experience. Please know that pretzels are a great snack. It doesn't have to be fancy but when the volunteer makes snack time a fun engaging time it makes pretzels seem amazing! We went to a church one time where the lady put on a chef hat and passed out snack singing a song about food. She made it fun. Jeffrey still talks about her. I know it wears you out but every part of the experience should be special.
5. I want my kids to come home telling me what they learned. I can tell what you have done based on how my kids come out talking. 2 weeks ago Bubba (the 2 year old) came out telling me about Jesus and the 5 and 2. (bless him, he confused the fish and loaves but he got the general idea). I don't expect him to recite the Bible but I want a general story in there. Today we walked out and I asked what they learned about, Jeffrey said fire. I asked if Jesus was in there, he said, NO. If the story is that complex, it isn't a good one for this age. I LOVE churches that teach the basics in an easy enough way that the kids come out talking about God and Jesus.
6. CHANGE MY KID OR LET HIM POTTY. I LOVE going to a church who tells me about a potty trip or that they changed him. Don't hand me his pull up and say, "he didn't have to do anything" I happen to know that in the amount of time you were in there a trip should have at least been attempted. Not saying he has to actually potty but just say, "we tried but he didn't need to yet, and he kept his pants dry". At least let me know you checked his little rear. I love the churches who keep a chart and say, "Yay, we did the potty dance today!" or "Oh, Bubba tried to potty but nothing came out. We still celebrated cause he tried!" I love the places that make me feel like my kids are important to them the way they are to me.:-)
7. I love churches who send home a weekly flier telling what the story is and what the verse for the month is. I also love churches who have a little info sheet on mission statement and goals that are passed out to the parents when they check the kids in. It gives me something to read while I wait for service to start and helps me see your goals better. We went to a church one time that handed me a sheet that welcomed me and the the whole family, described the security system for kid pick up, informed me of the mission statement, gave me the goals for the month with verses, and gave me a full list of contact info for the whole church. It was just one page and easily read but gave me all the info I needed to feel like my kids were in the hands of someone who was organized and put kids first.
Above all, make us feel like your arms are wide open and we are welcome! If I look lost, help me!
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