Smile, you are on Candid Camera!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just knew a camera crew was going to jump out at you and say, "Smile, you are on Candid Camera"? Well, today was one of those days for me. I knew when I woke up that things were off and that I was really going to have to work for my sanity throughout the entire day.

Things started off pretty well this morning. I got out of bed to find both boys playing quietly with grandma and grandpa. It was great that I had an opportunity to sleep in just a little before I started my day. Unfortunately, that is pretty much the highlight of my day. From there things just started to go south.

My first adventure started with Bubba. Somehow he began a chain of events that ended in screaming and a little dancing. It all started when he began to protest to the fact that he had been in his walker long enough and was ready to be fed a bottle. I picked him up and took him into the kitchen where I tripped over some of his toys and my foot landed right in a pool of doggy pee. First of all, for anyone who really knows me, this is a worst nightmare for me. I don't do body fluids and I certainly don't stand in them. EWWWWWWWWW. I didn't know what to do because I was holding Bubba in my arms so disciplining the dog was out of the question. I also knew that if I walked to the bathroom to get a towel that I would spread the fluid that would be dripping off my foot. I quickly looked around to locate a towel and found a small napkin from Wendy's. Not much help but it did dry my foot off for the most part. I was able, at that point, to find a place to put little Bubba, balance myself on one clean foot and place him safely in a seat where he could watch me clean and get frustrated.

I started my discipline and clean up with a quick rub of Molly's nose in the spot and telling her it was a poor choice. (can't say bad dog cause she isn't a bad dog, she just made a bad decision). I then made her walk with me to get a towel and then we walked back to clean up the mess. She had to stand next to me while I cleaned it up complaining about the smell and then I began to take her outside to see that she is to go there not in the house.

I opened the door, as I have done a million times before but this time would prove to be different. This time as the door quickly slid past my toes I noticed that I was standing on something that was moving. I looked closer to find that a snake was resting on our door slide and I was standing on it. I screamed bloody murder, released Molly, slammed the door shut and watched as the snake slithered off (no doubt scared out of it's ever loving little mind).

At this point it was time for me to do the extremely important "heebee geebee dance". I began with rubbing my hands down my body as if I were wiping something off. This was followed by the alternating of feet as if I were walking on hot coals. To conclude the dance, I made a large shivering gesture as if I were cold beyond belief and then combined the three movements to create quite a spectacle. At this point mom, dad and Jeffrey had emerged to see what the commotion was all about. I informed them of the situation and they all just looked at me as if I were on crack! Dad asked, "how big was the snake?" I began thinking back to the experience in my mind and recalling visual images to enable me to inform him of the python I had just experienced however, every mental picture I recalled showed me a very tiny, very scared little black snake. Do I lie and tell them it was a python attempting to eat my family or do I tell them I reacted this way to a large earth worm sized snake? I decided that a snake is a snake and so I told them that it was about 6 inches long and about the size of a gummy worm. Dad just kinda laughed at me and Jeffrey looked at me as if to say, "mommy, are you going to die?" I quickly began feeling very silly but knew that deep down inside, if they had stepped on a snake they would have had a similar reaction.

I look back on this and laugh. I know my family just accepts my overreaction to things like this but what was Molly thinking? After all, she did just meet me 2 weeks ago. Was she thinking to herself "how did I wind up with these as my humans?" or is she more the one to think, "geez, overreact much?" At any rate, I gave the poor little dog something to write to the shelter about. I gave her a story that is fit for any doggy coffee circle. I gave her something to bark about and in the end isn't that all life is about? I am now officially scared to let the dog out and would rather clean up messes than confront the wild outdoors. I am not, nor have I ever been a serious wilderness girl. I am ok in the park and beach but I don't really want to see animals. I'm good with scenery.

I am so glad today is over and that the snake incident would only be a one time thing. Here is hoping that I don't see the snake enough to name it. I don't think I could bear seeing a snake consistently but I will do whatever God wants me to do. I just keep praying that he NEVER wants me to be a snake catcher!