It Sounded LIke a Good Idea

Today we opened our envelope to find "walk around Target" as our special thing. Ever since Jeffrey was a baby he has loved Target! I decided that after naps would be a great time plus I would be able to get some needed supplies for the house! Woohooo! This will be a "two birds with one stone" kind of day. Well, it sounded like a good idea.

We started our journey at 4:30. I had read posts on Facebook about Kanner Hwy being shut down for an incident but that was hours before and I never considered that the traffic pattern would still be effected. I guess that is what I get for thinking. The "incident" turned out to be a robbery and shooting with 1 fatality so the road was still blocked off for investigation and the traffic was HORRIBLE! The good part of that was when we passed the blocked off road we were hit with a red light and were able to sit and watch 8 police cars with their lights on. (for those of you who have not figured this out yet, this is better than Disney World for Jeffrey). We watched the policemen and cars until our light turned green and then proceeded onto our destination. What would normally take us 35-40 min took us about 1 1/4 hours from our house to Target.

At this point we were into our critical period of needing dinner and that is something that can't wait with these two, very quickly, growing boys. I knew that we would only be at Target for a short period of time and that it was cheaper to buy milk there for drinks than at a restaurant so my choice was to hit Target first then stop off at Steak n Shake for dinner. Again, it sounded like a good idea.

We did our shopping and looking at Target and I was able to buy the dog food and David's razors which we NEEDED TONIGHT! The dog was completely out of food and poor David could not get up another morning with the blades he had. I was also able to finish the shopping for David's stocking which I totally put in my "win" column. Things seemed to be going great even after all the traffic. We looked at everything Jeffrey and Nathaniel pointed to and then went to the checkout. We loaded everything into the car and then headed to Steak n Shake.

At the drive thru we ordered our food then moved forward behind the car at the window. I noticed that they passed out two shakes and a bag of food then shut the window. The car did not move so I assumed there was more to come but instead I heard the sound of a honking car. I realized the man in front of us was honking. He honked no fewer than 20 times then started to yell towards the window. Eventually someone came to see what was going on and he (in a very angry tone and with many hand motions) began to yell at the girl and then passed the two shakes back to her. I don't know what he said but given the amount of use of his hands he was VERY upset about ice cream that had been shaken. After waiting for 20 min he was handed new shakes and finally drove off and we moved forward. Whew, we got our food before a major meltdown and then moved to a parking space where we could see the trucks on the road.

Once we parked, I quickly moved everything so that I could reach it while in the back seat and then moved to the back with the boys. We enjoyed our dinner and had fun talking and laughing about silly things. Jeffrey even pointed out a Lowe's truck (which kinda made me proud and embarrassed at the same time. Is he able to read that word or have we been there so many times that it is the first work he recognizes?) We finished our food and then I began to clean up in preparation to move back to the front so we could head home. That is when I realized that the child door lock was engaged and I could not open his door from the inside. Hmmm, what was I going to do? The windows were up and the car was turned off so there was no reaching out and around and I knew that I couldn't go out Bubba's side due to his car seat being too big for me to get around. My only option was to climb to the front between the seats.

Please let me add a side note here. While I'm very proud of the 30 pounds I have lost this past year it is still not enough for me to gracefully execute this plan. I just knew that pants were going to rip or buttons pop or a seat break. None the less, it was my only option. As I planned my approach I realized that both boys were staring at me as if I were crazy. I had been talking to myself and wasn't even aware! Geez, that is totally going to show up in their therapy sessions later in life. Eventually I got the nerve to make my move. I put one foot through the space and then decided that I would straddle the arm rest and try to move sideways instead of going two feet then butt! BAD IDEA!!! As I got halfway through I realized that I was stuck. My rear end and the space between the seats were about the same size and I had one foot stuck under the steering wheel while the other was floating out somewhere near Jeffrey's feet. Yep, I was in trouble. I had been very focused throughout this part of the plan and had not noticed that both boys were now laughing at me. One look at Jeffrey and then Bubba set me off laughing (which did not help my situation at all cause then I realized I needed to use the bathroom.) So here I am doing the splits, laughing and needing to use the bathroom while stuck in my car. I briefly considered calling David for help but decided that the conversation would go nowhere but bad. "Hey babe, are you busy? I'm stuck in my car between the seats and need you to drop everything and come with the jaws of life to wedge me out of this position. Do you mind?" Yeah, that would get me laughed at and then I would be the "butt" of all his jokes for a few weeks. NO, I can do this. Eventually Jeffrey said, "mommy, lay back!" What? You are only 3, there is no way you could have any suggestions that would help me. Just stop it. Wait a min. If I lay back I can throw my other leg up over the seat. Did the 3 year old just solve the problem? Ok, but don't admit that he figured it out before you did." "Thank you Jeffrey" I said. So I did exactly that. I fell back into the passenger seat and threw my left leg up and over the seat.

Now I was very thankful that this all happened at night when few people are around to see and it is dark until I realized there were people in the car next to us and we were parked under a light. Yep, they had witnessed the entire thing. They were trying really hard to make sure I didn't see them laugh however it is hard to mistake that "body shake" of someone laughing. I had just given them a bright spot in the middle of the night, good for me. I quickly put my seat belt on and we drove off. It was then and there that I realized two things. First of all, think things through ALL THE WAY before trying them when you are the only adult in the situation. Second, if you get stuck, ask the 3 year old for help.:-)

So what sounded like a good idea turned out to be a 3 1/2 hour adventure where I got stuck in the car and my kids laughed at me (and maybe I laughed at myself a little too).