I AM SUPERMOM! (ok, maybe not)

I don't really watch the news because let's face it, who needs to be depressed before going to bed? What do they tell you that you really need to know anyway? So and so shot someone, some woman was found in her car on 95, a bank was robbed and oh by the way we are in a drought! Well, I was almost newsworthy tonight.

I started my afternoon off thinking that I had a great plan. I was going to take the kids to Lowe's so we could pick up the last load of rocks to finish up our front landscaping, go to Publix for some milk then return home to finish off the rocks as a surprise for David, cook dinner, feed the kids, and then get everyone bathed and ready for bed. Yep, it was a great plan for this SUPERMOM (insert theme music here). Flawless really, except I didn't take into account who my children are and what bumps they could put in my road.

Things started off just as I had planned. I got the kids dressed, loaded up in the car and off to Lowe's we went. We got in, checked the balance on my gift card then walked to the back where the bags of rocks are displayed. I loaded them into the cart (realizing that I probably needed help since the cart really didn't want to drive with all that weight in it) and tried to push the heavy, unbalanced cart to the front. My sweet 3 year old decided that he had watched mommy struggle enough and started to help me push. Surprisingly, it was a big help and we managed to get the cart to the register while only making a slight scene. The register is where I discovered my first flaw in this seemingly spotless plan. After using my gift card I owed the woman $.17. I really had calculated this out better and thought I owed enough to charge on the debit card but who uses a debit card for $.17? I said with confidence, "Oh, I surely have the change for that." DING, DING, DING! First sign that I should have just gone home. I only had $.14. The woman detected my frustration and began digging in her pockets. After a couple seconds we both came up with a total of $.20, some pocket lint, a screw, and a sucker that had been half eaten. At any rate, we had enough to pay the bill. I thanked her like crazy and headed out to the car where we loaded up and headed on to our next destination, PUBLIX!

We got to the grocery store and began our shopping. I only needed some bread and milk so I knew this would be a very fast trip. I was excited that things were going (for the most part) well and that the kids were behaving. Most of all, Jeffrey was being very helpful which always makes things wonderful. We selected our desired items, paid and went to the car. (be sure you are sitting down, here comes the news worthy part). When we got to the car I did my normal routine. I put my keys into my back pocket (so that I don't lock anyone into the car on accident), loaded Bubba into his car seat, put the groceries in the front seat and then began to put the cart away with Jeffrey's help.

That's when I heard the noise.

Our car doors locked.

Not to worry, I have the keys in my pocket but man that sure is strange, how did it even happen? Jeffrey was beside me, Bubba was in his seat strapped in and the keys are with me. I wonder if someone has the same lock code and when they locked their car my car locked too???? Whatever, I'll just unlock the doors with my key and we will be on our way.

Wait, where are my keys? They aren't in my pocket!!! I know I put them in there, I do it as a habit like brushing your teeth in the dark. You don't need to see what you are doing because it is just part of your brain!!

Oh my! I bet I dropped them.

Jeffrey and I searched the ground for the keys when I heard the locks again. OK, that means that someone is pressing the button. Wait a min, what is Bubba holding???? Yep, that little kleptomaniac stole the keys out of my pocket when I wasn't looking!!!! Oh darn, think Missi think! OK, so if he locked the doors he can unlock them. That would be when I started to stare in the window saying (in my nice, high pitched mommy voice) "Bubba, push the button, push the button!" He thought this was hilarious. He laughed and giggled. His little face was so full of joy. He kept pushing the lock button over and over and with each push his face became brighter and brighter!

OK, this is not working. Then I thought to myself, if he pushes the right button only one time the driver door is the only one that will unlock. I better stand by it in the event his little thumb moves over and hits the right button. Jeffrey and I moved to the other side of the car and I continued on with my plea for him to push the button.

Now please allow me the chance for a side note here. One thing that I love about Publix is their extreme efficiency with gathering shopping carts. I rarely pull up into their parking lot and see a bunch of random carts. There is ALWAYS someone out in the lot pushing the carts back into the store. Well, I don't know if today was the official "leave the carts in the lot day" or what but there wasn't a single living soul out there with the exception of a few birds. At this point I decided that I needed a different action. I played out in my mind which of my two following choices would make me look less like the worst mom ever. Option A, was leave Bubba in the car and go get help inside the store and Option B was continue to try to get Bubba to push the button until someone came out who could help me. I decided that staying with the kid was the best thing to do.

I guess through all of this Jeffrey decided that once again mommy needed his help. He began knocking on the door yelling "Bubba push button, Bubba push button!" All of a sudden as if something snapped in his head he then broke out into a chorus of "SHARK BAIT HOO HA HA" (except when he says it the words sound more like sart bake hoo hoo ha). I really didn't know what to say. I started laughing so hard that I needed to go to the bathroom. It was hilarious and VERY loud. My 1 year old was locking the car over and over while my 3 year old was screaming "SHART BAKE HOO HOO HA!!!!" Oh, what on earth was I to do?? At that point (pretty sure God had gotten His laugh) I heard the wonderful sound of the front door unlocking. I managed to grab the handle just before it locked again. WE WERE IN! I told Jeffrey to get in and get the keys from Bubba. He quickly climbed in and said, "Bubba, that was not very nice". He grabbed the keys and handed them to me.

Ahhh, I won't end up on the news as an example of what not to do with your kids. Yay, once again I dodged the media frenzy and managed to keep things under control. (if you can call this control). We finished loading up and quickly made our way home. Pretty sure I'm done for the night. I don't really think that I can handle too much more excitement today. I guess we can just remember that tomorrow is another day and new adventures await us around each sunrise. I just hope that tomorrow is a little less exciting than what today was.:-)