When we moved to CT we knew it would be hard to live away from all family and raise a child. We knew that we would face challenges without breaks and that we would be making sacrifices to live in a place that has such a high cost of living, yet we made the decision to move there and begin David's work with Sikorsky.
Days turned into months and months turned into years and before we knew it we had lived in CT for 2 1/2 years. It was an amazing feat considering that in less than 6 years of marriage we have lived in 6 states! David changed job titles several times over those 2 years but one thing remained the same and that was the company he worked for. When we found out we were pregnant with our second child we decided that living closer to family would be great and so David began applying for jobs in DC and FL, both where we have our parents. He was hired for a job in FL and so 4 weeks after coming home from the hospital with Nathaniel we moved from CT to FL. It was supposed to be a move that helped us, made things easier and gave us more options as a family and a couple. With babysitters just a couple hours away we would have a chance for more date nights and the opportunity to do things just the "two of us". We quickly found out that this would not be the case.
Upon arriving to FL David found out that his work schedule was more than we had bargained for. He had been told M-F 2nd shift and then OCCASIONAL weekends. In fact what they should have said was 7 days a week. For our first three months in FL he worked 7 days a week and had little opportunity to be involved with our family. He pretty much worked, ate and slept. We adjusted as much as we could and with the help of my parents we were able to make it through that hard time. In April the company decided that they were killing their budget with overtime costs for weekends so they cut out Sunday work. WOOHOOO! For the first time in our lives we were ecstatic for a 1 day weekend and 6 day work week! This is now our reality. David does as much as he can with us in the little time he has a home and then works hard so that I can stay home with the boys. It is a blessing that in today's economy he has a job that provides enough for us but in the same sense it is a curse that he has to work so much.
This brings me to today. While I'm fully adjusted to our 6 day work week I have a hard time giving him up on that one day we have together. This morning his boss called at 9:30 and told him that he needed to come in. Wait! It is Sunday, this is your ONE day off! I became very mad at the idea of us not having any days together this week. I knew I couldn't be mad at David, it totally wasn't his fault, but I was very mad at his boss for throwing this day together without any warning at all. The least he could have done was tell them Friday that they would be working on Sunday. Who calls on the morning of and tells you to work???? This place is so screwed up!
Anyhoo, he did what he had to do and left us for another day. We managed to do everything we could to not think about missing daddy but the boys look forward to this day as much as I do. It was hard for them to understand why daddy was gone again but we made the most of our day. I decided that since there were big football games on today that I would get all of the coupons, shopping and unpacking done before he came home so that we could spend our evening together. I worked hard getting everything in order so that dinner was ready when he walked through the door and we could just enjoy being a family for the time we were given. Everything was well planned out except for one thing. David is totally exhausted. So here I sit on our date night, in the dark, listening to him snore. He didn't even make it through the games he was soooo looking forward to watching. We have hardly spoken a word to each other since the boys went to bed and I'm alone just as I am every other night of the week. I will admit, I got mad. How can this company rip lives apart like this for a stupid helicopter??? How can they justify pulling in a salary guy on weekends knowing that he doesn't get overtime OR a yearly bonus??? How can they do this to us? I have such limited time to spend with him just the two of us and here they are taking that away from me.
That's when it hit me. I'm sitting in a dark room listening to him snore. How many spouses are sitting alone tonight while their spouse is in a war zone? How many people are alone tonight because their spouse was taken by a serious illness or accident? How many people would love the chance to sit and listen to the one they love snore so peacefully? So that is when I realized, I'm lucky. I may not get to talk to him or share a simple football game but at least he is home, safe and sound. At least he is where I can reach him. I am blessed and while I know this job is only a phase in our lives, it has taught me a serious lesson about getting mad. Don't get mad about it until you have looked at the whole picture. Chances are, you are getting mad about something that could always be worse.
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