As you can tell from the date of my last post, it has been a while since I tickled the keys of the computer to tell a story. I decided that the troops seem to be a bit better today so I would take opportunity when it knocked and tear the door down.:-)
Several weeks ago (the days have all run together at this point) we were given the opportunity to experience a new adventure. I like to refer to this adventure as "Sick Fest 2010". It all started with a cough coming from the lungs and mouth of Jeffrey. At first we chalked it all up to "allergies" as we have so many times in the past but this time would prove to be very different. As the days passed the cough became deeper and gradually gained a more "rattly" sound. David and I decided that we needed to get him to the doctor for some meds so we went and things happen as they normally do, the doctor evaluated him, gave us a prescription and then sent us on our merry way. That night, instead of feeling a little bit better, everything hit the fan (and I mean hit the fan literally).
Now let me post a side note here. I worked with baseball teams for 8 years. I traveled with them, sat in dugouts with them, I washed their laundry, wrapped their stinky ankles and feet and I really thought there was nothing on earth that could gross me out when it came to sound effects. I really thought I had heard, seen and smelled it all. I WAS WRONG!!! Around 2 in the morning is when it happened. Jeffrey burped. You are thinking to yourself, "Missi, so what? He burped. My grandma burps, what is the big deal?" Well, this was not a burp like any other. It started in his toe nails and moved it's way up to his mouth. Once it was released it produced a green cloud of stink like you would see in a cartoon. Let me please also tell you that at this point I'm holding him on the couch. We are sharing space and this cloud is consuming my oxygen. Before I knew it, the burp was followed with, (I'm not going to give you details for this part, I'm sure you can figure out what came out right after the burp). For the record, his last meal had been fizzed out coke and toast. Oh My Goodness! I have never been so grossed out in my life! It was all over me. Immediately mommy mode kicked in and I reassured him that things would be fine, David came in and cleaned up the mess while Jeffrey and I went to take a shower. I prayed that I wouldn't lose my last meal in the clean up effort and then we went back to the couch to curl up and try to get sleep. Around 4 am I heard it once again. It was the burp and before I could get out of the way it was time for yet another shower. On a positive note, that is the most showers I have had in a 10 hour period since I gave birth! Yay me for being clean. Once again we followed the routine of David cleaning up while we cleaned ourselves up. I really thought it would all be over at this point. Nope, one more run at it around 6:30. I had pretty much had enough at that point. You don't take a person with germ issues and have this happen to them without leaving a little scaring. You have to understand that I don't swim in the ocean because there is fish poop in there and it will get in my hair! I don't do body fluids!!!
Through time, we took Jeffrey to the hospital, he got better, they released him and things started to look up for us. Now this whole time Jeffrey was sick Bubba was with my parents in Fort Myers, in an effort to keep him from getting sick. A couple days after being sent home from the hospital, Bubba returned to us and guess what? He too had a cough and within a few days he was also "burping" all over me. It is sad when you have a routine of cleaning vomit down so good you don't even have to talk to each other but David and I were that good. We just knew our role in the situation and we did it, no questions asked. Thankfully, Bubba never got sick enough to be admitted into the hospital however, he did manage to "burp" on me several times.
Eventually, Bubba seemed to be getting better, Jeffrey was up moving around, David still felt good and even though I felt bad I wasn't "really, really sick" and that is when it happened. MOLLY came in from being outside to potty and sure enough, I heard the burp. I looked down and there was a mess all over the floor. Sadly, David and I went to our designated positions and did our jobs cleaning without any discussion. Luckily, Molly only did this a couple times but STILL!!!!
After a few days of cleaning burps and messes the sickness passed and or turned into other things (instead of getting better Bubba decided to turn his sickness into an ear, eye, and nose infection but that is info for another day, another story)
The burps seem to be gone for now but in the silence of our moving car, if I hear a burp come from the backseat I immediately look for a place to pull over and check everyone's clothes. I'm so terrified of another mess that all burps seem to be followed with a memory of horrible smell and needing a shower. I even cowered in the store the other day when I heard a man in line in front of me burp. I just imagined having to clean that up. OH THE HORRORS!!!
So that is how I became afraid of burps. They send shivers down my spine and make me want to run and hide. I'm glad I no longer work with baseball players as the dugout would be my worst nightmare right now.:-)
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