Stupid English Language

I have decided that the English Language has some stupid words that need to be removed from our right of usage until one is over the age of 16 and has a driver's licence.

With Jeffrey's speech delay we have worked VERY hard on developing sounds, word endings and meanings. He seems to have a very advanced ability to understand meanings, he just doesn't have a wide spoken vocabulary. When he adds a new word to his list of successes he tends to use it in practically every sentence attempting to create proper meaning. Recently he learned the word borrowed. At first it was used more when asking, "mommy, that is daddy's shirt. Did he borrow that to you?" (OK, so I wear David's shirts more than mine, they fit better and are more comfy. If you don't like it go call What Not to Wear on me) I would always respond, "Yes Jeffrey, I borrowed this from daddy because mommy likes how daddy's shirts feel". Until a few weeks ago this was our only use of the word. Oh how fast things change.

So I went into Jeffrey's room today to help him organize his toys and move some furniture around for cleaning purposes. I discovered that a huge portion of Bubba's toys were in Jeffrey's room. I asked him if Bubba brought them into his room and much to my surprise he replied, "Bubba borrowed those to Shoo" (if you don't remember, the kid calls himself Shoo. Yes, I am aware that this will show up in therapy some day but after all, it is better than Pants or Shirt right???) Knowing that Bubba can't really talk I was a little skeptical about the whole "borrowing" deal. I asked Jeffrey again, "did you take these from Bubba?" "No mommy, Bubba borrowed these to Shoo". Hmmm, I'm pretty sure this is not the case, I guess it is time for a little talk about borrowing.

I attempted to talk to him about taking vs. borrowing and realized that while he could successfully say the word his 3 year old brain could not distinguish between the two ideas. After all, mommy never "asks" daddy to borrow his shirts, she just wears them. Seeing that my words were falling on young ears I decided that nothing was being hurt at the moment and we should just continue on with our cleaning.

Some time passed and Bubba woke from his nap. He came into Jeffrey's room and began to play with one of his trucks. That is when I realized that I had a situation on my hands that I had not prepared for. Jeffrey about had a heart attack and began to throw the biggest fit. "Bubba no! You borrowed that to Shoo!" Bubba looked at me like his brother was insane and I kinda returned the look. We sat there until Jeffrey began to simmer down and that is when I began the lesson on sharing. Did he totally understand? Absolutely not. Did he stop yelling and throwing a fit? Yep, for now. Until tomorrow when Bubba tries to drink his milk out of a cup that Jeffrey thinks has been borrowed to him.

So this is when I come to my realization that some words just need to be stricken from this language. They cause nothing but chaos and frustration for parents. Let's just say "steal vs. give" there is no grey area and I don't have to listen to 3 year old justification on why something is or is not borrowed. I'm sure you ALL have words you would like to remove as well. I assume that all parents would like to write to Webster and tell him a thing or two about making some words official. (don't even get me started on the words shirt or fork. Obviously the person who came up with those did not have a child with a speech issue. Yeah, people do NOT think we are saying those words and I get some seriously bad looks when they come out of his little mouth) Oh well, when I become President of the World I will have the right to change all the words that annoy me. Until then, I guess I will just have to diffuse the problems that arise from their usage as they happen.